untitled, another randomizing of me~

dari mana harus dimulai postingan ini? seluruh part dari badan saya seolah punya mulut dan teriak untuk minta diperhatikan secara bersamaan.

oke.

mungkin lirik lagu ini bisa membantu memetakan sedikit apa yg saya rasa..

I open my eyes

I try to see but I’m blinded by the white light

I can’t remember how

I can’t remember why

I’m lying here tonight

And I can’t stand the pain

And I can’t make it go away

No I can’t stand the pain

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on

As I’m fading away

I’m sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

Everybody’s screaming

I try to make a sound but no one hears me

I’m slipping off the edge

I’m hanging by a thread

I wanna start this over again

So I try to hold onto a time when nothing mattered

And I can’t explain what happened

And I can’t erase the things that I’ve done

No I can’t

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on

As I’m fading away

I’m sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

I made my mistakes

I’ve got no where to run

The night goes on

As I’m fading away

I’m sick of this life

I just wanna scream

How could this happen to me

yeapp, Untitlednya Simple plan mungkin lumayan menggambarkannya.

i hate my self. i hate being me now. where'd my bright yet lies face me had gone? even though i was a big-liar-face but im happy could comforting everyonewhose close to me. being friendly isnt me, but i got used  by this for about a tons of days so its work with no one noticed, trust me XD

i want to kill my sarcastic and dark sides so fwakin bad, anyone can help?

banyak orang disekelilingku, banyak hati yang bisa menjadi tempatku berbagi tapi kenapa? its not like i can't, but actually i wont huhuhu don't ask me, i just don't know either.

saya bersyukur, dimanapun saya merasa nyaman, Alloh selalu memberi saya SATU hati yang bisa saya ajak tertawa. bahkan di dunia maya sekalipun ada orang dari belahan aussie dan canada yang friendly sama saya (ivy and cuppie, i treasure you both as my best) so whats wrong with me?

kehilangan kepercayaan itu berat. sungguh. lukanya sudah kering, sudah bisa memafkan tapi membagi kembali rasa percaya kepada orang walaupun yang selain dia masih terasa tabu. bagaimana jika hal itu terjadi lagi? bagaimana jika aku di khianati lagi? bagaimana jika aku diacuhkan lagi?

i cant face it all on one time. its hurt and breaking me apart. fudge.

jadi bisakah saya kembali membagi hati? its not about lover or such stuff, but about.. friendship, yes. as simple as it but have a big effect.

everyday is my gloomy day. being sarcatics and ignore every sign of everyone who want to being close with me.

do you know what im thinking? i need no body to lean on as long as i have Alloh on my way. yeasss im pathetic but i face the reality. kita datang sendiri maka selama bisa melakukan semuanya sendiri ya lakukan, toh nanti akhirnya juga bakalan pulang sendirian. (who's with me raise your hand ;p)

but sometimes i just couldn't know how to keeping my cool brain stay, i need a door to release what i am feeling or i can bursting into a dust. ugh.

and here we go, this acc is a perfect place. i dont care whoever will reading it, this is my acc, my private acc, my self on virtual media, rite?

ugh~

insomnia was killing me nowadays. 

sincerely

babo little snaiL